Divorce Coach: Is that what I am?

Everywhere you look these days, there are coaching programs for everything imaginable. There are personal trainers to help motivate you to exercise. There are coaches to help you live a better life, coaches to help you eat the right things, and on and on. The ones I have noticed the most are divorce coaches. There seem to be so many people who think because they went through a difficult divorce, they are now a divorce coach. I’m sure some of these people might be able to help those in a similar circumstance as theirs. The ones I’ve spoken to are more emotional support than anything else. And that is important for a lot of people.

The plan for my business, called Common Sense Divorce, is not exactly that. Having spent so many years as a litigator in the family law space, my effort is to help those going through the divorce process with a little common sense advice to help them survive the divorce process, and then once they are on the other side, I can share insights and advice to help them co-parent with their ex-spouse in a way that will reassure them and their children that this new normal is not so bad after all. If the children are happy, hopefully, the parents can relax and adapt to their new normal as well. Or perhaps the real problem is learning to live single again. Whether it has been two or 20 years since you were single, it can seem like a monumental task to re-establish yourself as a single person among your friends and in society. I’ve done these things personally, but I’ve also spent 25 years working with clients to accomplish many of these things as well. I also have experience in the step-child area — both being the step-child and helping raise step-children. Additionally, I had several (if not many) cases involving issues surrounding the new blended family and how to deal with those issues.

Does that make me a divorce coach? I’m not sure. Once you become a lawyer, it becomes who you are — not necessarily exclusively what you do. I’m licensed in two states, Oklahoma and Colorado, and in both of those states, my license is currently inactive. That means I am no longer actively practicing law, so I will not be giving legal advice to anyone. I will not be representing anyone as a lawyer. But I am still a lawyer. So I think I have to be very careful and not blur those lines when dealing with clients. So far, it has not been a problem, and I plan to keep it that way. I guess I could take on that label of a divorce coach, but I see myself more as a former family law attorney, so I think I’ll stick with that — at least for now.

Additionally, it appears that I may be the anomaly in this space. I’ve been looking for other retired lawyers that have taken up coaching clients in various areas. So far, I’ve found zero. Could it be that I’m the only retired lawyer coaching divorce clients? Surely not. It seems like the natural progression of things. At least to me. But then, I’m not one to just sit around and do nothing even at retirement age. By the time many lawyers retire, they just want away from the practice of law or anything connected to it. At first, I thought I might feel that way. I was severely burned out by the end. But then the boredom set in and I had to find my purpose. I feel like I still have a lot to offer, so this is the way I plan to offer it. Hope I’m not wasting my time (and money!).

So here is the plan. As a follow-up to my book, Common Sense Divorce: Ten Steps to Save You Time, Money, and Worry, I have developed an online course that will probably be converted to an evergreen format for the next launch. I am still developing the Common Sense Divorce Coaching Program that I hope to launch this summer. I’ve started speaking on podcasts and summits to bring awareness to these products and my efforts to help people. I would also like to develop a membership program as well. It would seem that a membership program is well suited to this topic, and I know there are some programs already out there. The reception to date for these ideas and products has been positive, but it is very difficult to get the word out when there is so much noise in the marketplace. But I’ll keep peddling and trying to help as many people as possible - no matter what you call me!